I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
