Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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