the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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