Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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