I wanna bring you to show and tell
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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