I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
