You work out of a Hotel?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He has the fingertips of a God
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
