It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
