now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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