The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
