I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
