look no pants
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize