I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
