I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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