I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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