I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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