i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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