dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
