is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize