I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
