I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
