p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
