I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
