That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
