Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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