I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize