At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
