I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize