Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Text me some of your sweat
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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