i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
