weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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