Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
