Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize