Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
do herpes really smell.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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