She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
