Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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