dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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