I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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