So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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