I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There's always time for handjobs
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
