dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
