I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
