I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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