Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
