I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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