TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
