i'm lost and i look like a hooker
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
