I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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