drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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