Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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