My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize