craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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