Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
