I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
