There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
