when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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