I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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