I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
