I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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