he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
