at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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