I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
